I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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