so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
God I need to hump something, right now.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
