im drinking this country out of the recession.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
we're so committed to being not committed
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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