when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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