if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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