Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
