so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
