I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
