Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
