no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
