TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
