my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
