Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
