she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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