the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
