then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
How external is "for external use only"?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Bring me that man meat
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
