It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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