quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
