Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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