is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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