i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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