no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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