You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
