found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
