Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
