oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
