just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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