New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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