you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
