I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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