see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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