I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
