So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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