We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
