Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
