you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
