I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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