YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
