Since when is my name a synonym for head?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
