dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
