mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
So much Jack, so little girl.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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