Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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