is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
