I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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