dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I will pee on everything he values.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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