would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
