R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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