OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
NoShamevember. You game?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
