So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
