Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
